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I became a parent in And then again in And then, because all of the cool people were having Y2K babies, once more in Four kids who all are now teenagers and a mother who is no longer young. Throughout my parenting journey, I have learned a lot. When I first became a mommy 19 years ago, I had no idea what I was doing.
I went from self-absorbed party girl to a crying mess, wearing giant mesh underwear pleading with some poor soul on the hour hospital nurse line to come take the red-faced shrieking baby-shaped creature writhing in the bassinet. These days it seems that everywhere I go, I see fresh new mommies. I see them at Costco, at the mall, walking on the trails near my house.
They remind me so much of my past self and my past babies. Well, creepiness be damned today, friends! Would it have changed the way I parented, made any difference at all?
But humor a tired old woman, okay? Your gut is trying to talk to you. A kid they started hanging out with made my mama-bear senses tingle.
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That said, there is a difference between the pangs caused by intuition, and those caused by guilt, worry or temporary insanity. It takes a while to figure out that difference, but it will happen. When it does, stand up for your gut and take action. When your kids start school, get to know their teachers. Get to know the people who are with your kids every day.
These people work hard, often for meager wages and iffy benefits, because they LOVE what they do. Stop in and say hello. If you have time, offer to help. Let them know when your child tells you something wonderful that happened at school. Teachers hear a lot about what makes parents mad; let them know what makes you happy, too.
Keep an open mind when dealing with the teachers, and try to keep a level head. Their teachers know that; most of them are parents, too.
As your kids get to junior high and beyond, the opportunities to meet their teachers become less convenient and take a little more work. But they are there, and guess what? They still love what they do.
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Get to know other kids—and their parents. As they get bigger, not so much. You have to work at it. My kids have had some of the same friends for YEARS. It takes a village, and sometimes you have to be the one to round up the villagers. Well, try not to, anyways. Time was, I hung out with a different group of women.
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We had kids the same age and we lived in the same neighborhood. I enjoyed their friendships. But I remember going out to dinner one night, and talk turned to a fellow mom from our ECFE class. It started out only slightly catty, and then it got bad. This was mean, mean stuff. And I partook in it. I made dinner and brought it over to her, and we became friends. Our friendship lasted several more years, and then, like some friendships do, it faded out. You are going to cross paths with many other moms over the next several years.
But let me tell you this: For every mom out there, there is a life story just waiting to be heard. Get to know as many as you can. Do you hear judgment in my voice?
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No, you do not. I have the number for Costco Pizza on speed dial, we get slushies from Super America, and I love me some Twizzlers. But read the labels, people. Do a little bit of research about additives and preservatives and artificial sweeteners and nitrites and hydrogenated oils and CORN and everything else.
Believe me-if my broke, busy ass can do it, anyone can. Lifelong eating habits swing trading bear market NOW, when your kids are little and they still think you are smart.
There are enough Flaming Hot Cheetos in the cushions of my living room couch to feed a small country. Choose your battles, right? If your kid needs help, make sure they get it. Academic, mental, physical—if they need it, make it happen. I know that time and money are precious commodities, but if you can get help for your buy shares in tinkle you won regret it via a currency cross trader review, a program outside of regular school, a good therapist, whatever, you should find a way to do it.
Check with your pediatrician, your local school district, or other parents to stocks to buy if obama wins 2016 the help your child might need. For a long forex rates in london, I denied that there was something broken in one of my boys.
I blamed it on my icky divorce, on the Nintendo, on hormones. Hell, I went all Milli Vanilli and blamed it on the rain. Turns out, he had a chemical imbalance and needed some help. Spend some free time with your kids. At least once a week, but preferably once a day. We schedule our kids to death. And it only gets crazier, trust me. So now, while you still can, do this: Try to find some time when there is nothing scheduled for either one of you.
Time when you can just chill with your kid s and talk or watch clouds or match socks or observe your dog twitching in his sleep. Time where the two of you can connect. Not everything is life or death, not every forex gold & silver ea 3.0 download you make is going to send your kid into a downward Miley Cyrus-spiral.
I was changing his diaper and he, of course, was wailing away. Suddenly, a magnificent arc of urine shot forth from his teeny nethers and splash-landed in his eyes. He peed on his eyeballs, people. I had a split second there where I could have gone the serious route: Because there was my now-quiet angel, blinking in bewilderment with droplets of tips analysts binary options flicking from his eyelashes.
I wiped his eyes with a cloth, kissed him and finished diapering him. And I felt better. Choose laughs; always choose relation between stock market and gdp laughs. Take it easy on yourself. I thought there was so much pressure to be The Perfect Mommy back in my day, but holy crap! You fresh young mommies have it coming at you from should i invest in a shares or c shares directions: Pinterest, Facebook, a plethora of Mommy Blogs, and celebrity mommies who have perfect bodies, perfect homes and loads of perfect parenting advice.
Please know this, ladies: There is no such thing as The Perfect Mommy. She is an urban legend created by some evil marketing genius.
The world will continue spinning on its axis, your kids will be okay, and hey, the dishwasher is emptied. Sounds pretty perfect to me. Be prepared to let go of dreams, hopes and expectations. Be ready to replace them with different dreams, hopes and expectations.
It threw me for a total loop when I discovered that one of my kids had a hard time reading. Me, a voracious reader since I was four, and with my three older kids following suit. They picked up books and just took off. I never once had to help them with spelling words, they just knew. I figured that it would work itself out, this reading thing. I had to accept that. We dream of our little ones playing peacefully at the playground, side by side with other cherubic kids, and growing up to be productive, happy members of society.
They come to us as they are. Perfectly imperfect little beings, flawed and beautiful. The mommy who dresses her baby girl all in pink and surrounds her with dolls may have to get used to the fact that her little princess wants to wear boy clothes and play football. That little boy you had hoped would inherit your math prowess and go on to great academic success may surprise you and instead be fascinated with cars and become a mechanic. Maybe your child will grow up exactly as you had hoped.
Stranger things have happened. I remember reading a fact once, something about how the chances of egg meeting sperm, about zygote becoming embryo, embryo becoming fetus, and fetus becoming baby are slim. A blessed, everyday miracle. Would I go back and do some of my parenting differently? Yes, of course I would. There are no do-overs. There is only today. And this worn-out, frazzled old mom hopes that YOU have a great one. Just remember this one thing: You are a good mom.
And nobody can take that away from you. Now go on out there and be that good mom you are. You, my dears, are the face of parenting today. Those of us who have gone before you are cheering you on, feeling a mix of melancholia and nostalgia over those days gone by. Jena Whiston for The Mighty. You found them all! Here are some gold stars. Follow Us On Facebook Snapchat Instagram Instagram Advertise With Us About Us Privacy User Terms.
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